The need for parental validation is toxic
I’d like to start off by saying that my children won’t ever have to try to “make mom proud with their achievements” when they’re older. I am eternally proud of them as they are, I love them as they are and I accept them as they are.
They won’t ever need to fit into a particular category or work relentlessly towards things just with the end goal of making me proud. They have had my validation and approval since the day they were born and they will always have my validation and approval, they don’t need to work for it. I will celebrate them for merely existing. They are free to pursue whatever path they choose in life & will always have the weight of my full support and love behind them.
I will go a step further and say that I will also teach them that anyone’s validation (including their own parents) should mean absolutely nothing to them. All that matters is how they feel about themselves.
The notion that children should make their parents proud has never sat right with me. Our children are entire human beings with their own lives to live, to do whatever they choose to do, not follow whatever path their parents might have set out for them. And certainly not to aim for things just to make their parents proud. They should work towards their own dreams and things that make them happy, things that fulfil their soul regardless…
